Thursday, November 15, 2007

Punish the person, not the whiskey

I don't drink, and I could really care less about the fate of this possibly illegally obtained whiskey, estimated at $1 Million. I just thought that the quote below from an "outraged" whiskey fan was priceless. Bless his Canadian heart...

Vintage Whiskey May Be Poured Out
Law Requires Officials Destroy Whiskey That Cannot Be Sold Legally
from WSMV Channel 4 Nashville

NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- Here's a sobering thought: Hundreds of bottles of Jack Daniel's whiskey, some of it almost 100 years old, may be unceremoniously poured down a drain because authorities suspect it was being sold by someone without a license.

Old No.7 may get 86'edOfficials seized 2,400 bottles late last month during warehouse raids in Nashville and Lynchburg, the southern Tennessee town where the whiskey is distilled.

"Punish the person, not the whiskey," said an outraged Kyle MacDonald, 28, a Jack Daniel's drinker from British Columbia who promotes the whiskey on his blog. "Jack never did anything wrong, and the whiskey itself is innocent."

Investigators are also looking into whether some of the bottles had been stolen from the distillery. No one has been arrested.

Authorities are still determining how much of the liquor will be disposed of, and how much can be sold at auction.

Tennessee law requires officials to destroy whiskey that cannot be sold legally in the state, such as bottles designed for sale overseas and those with broken seals.

"We'd pour it out," said Danielle Elks, executive director of the Tennessee Alcoholic Beverage Commission.

The estimated value of the liquor is $1 million, possibly driven up by the value of the antique bottles, which range from 3-liter bottles to half-pints.

One seized bottle dates to 1914, with its seal unbroken. Elks said it is worth $10,000 on the collectors market. Investigators are looking into whether the liquor was being sold for the value of the bottles rather than the whiskey.

"Someone was making a great deal of profit," she said.

Tennessee whiskeys age in charred white oak barrels, but the maturing process that gives them character mostly stops when it is bottled. A bottled whiskey can deteriorate over a long period of time, especially if it is opened or exposed to sunlight and heat.

Christopher Carlsson, a spirits connoisseur and collector in Rochester, N.Y., said old vintages of whiskey in their original containers are highly prized.

"A lot of these bottles are priceless," he said. "It's like having a rare painting. It's heavily collected."

The raids, prompted by a tip, were conducted at two warehouses and a home in Lynchburg, about 65 miles southeast of Nashville. Another raid was at a Nashville hotel room where drinks were being served and bottles were being sold.

For now, the whiskey is being stored in a Nashville vault.

Elks acknowledged that pouring out the whiskey would not be a happy hour for her.

"It'd kill me," she said.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Semi-Tough? More like Semi-Turd...

Alright, Briefcase fans, it's been a while since I've blogged, and finally, à la Holden McNeil, I have something personal to say.

ridiculously lame movieI watched a movie last night, and I'm quite certain it is now the reigning champion of movie turdburgers: Semi-Tough.

Released the same year as the first Bandit, it is probably Burt Reynolds' worst movie. And I say that having seen part of City Heat and all of Cop & a Half.

In addition to the poorly wigged, legendary - and dare I say genial (for Thomas) - Burt Reynolds, it has Kris Kristofferson, Robert Preston, Roger E. Mosley ("TC" from Magnum, P.I.), Carl Weathers, Brian Dennehy, and Bert Convy - that's right, I said BERT CONVY! So I'm thinking that this looks like Smokey & the Bandit meets Slap-Shot meets North Dallas Forty, right? Wrong.

I can't believe I sat through most of it, save the part where I went to the bathroom. I don't know why I kept watching. Maybe it's because there is nothing good on TV these days. Maybe it was because Convy is so danged good-looking. Perhaps I missed the key element of the story when I was in the john. The majority of the movie seemed to be a parody of/stab at the "est" seminars. If you didn't live in the 70's or if you haven't seen VH1's "I Love the 70's," you won't get it. Anywho, remember: that's Semi-Tough. Avoid it like the plague. I still think Burt Reynolds is great, though.

Bert Convy, game show host, actor, singer, & hair helmet legend
(The late Bert Convy was a perfectly-perm-headed
character actor, occasional member of the
Reynolds-movie-cast-entourage [Cannonball Run], and,
most notably, the host of TV's Win, Lose or Draw!)